Author Archives: wayaclan

Poems — Jun 2013

These poems are drafts, not final versions, and are not to be shared outside this website.

Selected Poems

130626

DISBURDEN

If, if, if.
Be done with ifs.

Rest within what you know—
and, should that be nothing,
be nothing.

Or—be anything you choose.
What is there to lose?

* * *

130625

SCRIBE

As I write
these poems
each day,
I wish I knew
what I were
trying to say.

* * *

130624

SIGNS AND WONDERS

Which is the world
we wish to see,
of the myriad perceptions
and interpretations available?
Which impressions
do we choose to filter in
and which to filter out?

Was I simply open, this morning,
to the intuitive prompt
that let me catch an “I’m with you”
snippet of a radio song?

And the moth my dad noticed
in the grass of my mother’s grave
on this, the first anniversary
of her death—
like the moth that appeared
on her ceiling last year, was that
a connection or a happenstance?

A visitation, I say.
Chance? Not a chance.

* * *

130623

END OF DAYS

The final trick of life
is death:
the final twist
at one’s last breath …
when the truth of the reckoning
is revealed to be the beckoning.

* * *

130623b

A ROCK IS A HARD PLACE

I slept with my concretion
last night—the rounded rock
that looks like a popsicle off its stick,
the one given me as a sacred talisman
by a sort of medicine man
or con artist.

I’m using it as a ritual device—
as something meaningful to hold
while I count my daily blessings
and magnify my gratitude.

The giver of the stone told me
that it was formed in the heart
of Mother Earth and that I should
carry it close to my own heart always.

Like many other aspects
of my life, I’m grateful for the
conundrum of how to do that.

* * *

130622

ONBOARD GUIDANCE

When we set our sights on flight
into internal realms,
nothing truly overwhelms.

There, there are no rules to obey,
debts to incur, pains to endure,
or costs to defray.

There, in that lustrous night,
the heart is sure; it knows the way.

* * *

130621

STUDYING ON IT

I keep thinking
I’ll get clear,
keep thinking I’ll know
and, knowing,
will not fear to act.

But, oh, it’s so not so.

* * *

130619

READY, AIM . . .

Planning involves research,
exploring, and dreaming,
plus setting goals and strategies,
masterminding, scheming.

Planning sets agendas
and also trouble brewing,
for there’s no more effective way
to postpone ever doing.

* * *

130614a

MERRY GO-ROUND

Success or death.
Make your choice;
you will get no other.

Life’s a test
you must win—
that, or do it over.

* * *

130614b

STICKLER, STUCK

I keep my writing true to truth—
won’t substitute “old man” for “youth”
just for some effect. But heck,
if I could sometimes just bluff well …
OH, the poems I could tell!

* * *

130614c

INTO OUR OWN

From first days … from babyhood
… others dictate what is good;
we imbibe that with our mush.
“Eat now. Burp now. Sleep now. Hush!”

Monitored to be just so
(not too fast, not too slow,
not too rich or smart or wise),
we live out those others’ lies.

Preached a thousand kinds of truth,
we go crazy playing sleuth.
Preached a thousand kinds of hell,
comes a day our souls rebel.

To our true selves we awake,
early, late (perhaps near death);
sort our inner wheat from chaff;
think own thoughts, breathe own breath.

* * *

130614d

A WHOLE DIFFERENT ANIMAL

Does a pigeon pre-know death?
Does a kitten hold its breath?
Does a mollusk play the martyr?
Being human—what is harder?!

* * *

130613e

LOVE LESSONS

Everything is meant for me.
There’s nowhere else I need to be;
these tests are ones I chose myself
and all the steps from first to twelfth.

I’m here to learn the ways of mind
and leave its trickeries behind
until I know: below, above—
all that’s real embodies love.

* * *

130611a

MYSTERY BIRD

Dark body,
white wing-tips,
wings that rowed.

Not a buzzard,
not a crow.

Till today,
never seen.
Something in between.

* * *

130611b

LUNCH FAV

PB sammich
wif nanner or appy.
Yum-yum-yum,
I so happy!

* * *

130610

JUNE SKIES

These are the days of cloud changes,
of puffy whites being devoured
by gigantic amoeba grays.
Then comes the rain.
Then back again to spacious blue
and puffy whites above the greens,
and songbirds all about.

On high, the buzzards own the sky.

* * *

130609

ROAD KILLED

Dear dead fawn,
come into me
and breathe the air;
use my eyes to view the sky.

Life goes on.
Much is here
to see and be.
Know that love is everywhere.

* * *

130606

NO NEED TO EXPLAIN

Hurrah for rationales!
How else could we
assume our human role—
how reconcile the absurdities,
complexities, and contradictions
of what we don’t control.

* * *

130605b

COLOR VALUES

We so love light
(aurora-bright or purest white)
we think its lack is trauma—
but, oh—not so!
Dark is drama.

* * *

130603a

LADY IN WAITING

How was I to choose among
mother, artist, nun, or nurse?
Which is better; which is worse?

How could I decide between
worker bee or worker queen
without, regardless, getting stung?

Was I foolish; was I wise?
I didn’t choose to specialize.

* * *

130603b

JUST SO

All I know
is how I am.

And how am I?
As I am.

* * *

130602b

SOUL SONG

At last she wakes
and finds her wings.
At last, at last,
the nightbird sings.

* * *

Poems — Jan-May 2013

These poems are drafts, not final versions, and are not to be shared outside this website.

Selected Poems

130525

EX-PROCRASTINATOR

Doing nothing?
Nothing doing!

* * *

130515

DANG IT ALL

I’m about to die
in the blink of an eye of a fly
and the question isn’t how,
but why;
why is this life
so interesting now?

* * *

130505

CONSIDERING MY OPTIONS

I kill bugs.
In my kitchen, mainly.
Spiders in the bathtub I escort outdoors.
Well, ticks I drown.
No telling, inside my body,
what havoc occurs to other lifeforms.

Are there alternative options?
Can I redesign any of this
with a mutually beneficial outcome?
Or is it possible that it’s already so?

We’re all in this life/death adventure together;
that’s my basic assumption,
even it’s only within my own mind.
But I do mind
killing bugs.

* * *

130504a

ROLE CALL

I heard the critics
squabbling today.
That’s fine;
they have their play.

The artist chooses bliss.
They don’t know what they miss

* * *

130504c

POISED

How do I move
when my soul is so still?

Why should I move
if I haven’t the will?

* * *

130410

KILDEER

Today when the hail
bombarded the lake shore,
where was the mother bird?

If not on her twig-and-gravel nest,
have those three speckled eggs
gone stone cold?

* * *

130409

ODDS AGAINST

If I start a poem, will a poem result?
I wouldn’t expect a giraffe,
or a gnome, or a carafe . . .
though, if one appeared, I’d exult.

* * *

130403

WORK DEMANDS

Do it now:
that’s all I ask.
Hurry! Hurry!
Multitask!

* * *

130314

SLUMBER

Here he is in workday clothes,
breathing softly through the nose;
hands on chest, clasped and closed;
posed as if in death’s repose.
It’s a preview, I suppose.

* * *

[Undated]

WISTFUL

I don’t know why,
she said with a sigh,
but I want to be healthy
the day that I die.

* * *

130221

EXPECTANT

I hear breathing, chirping;
I hear chiming clocks;
I hear subtle tappings;
I hear clicks and knocks.

But all I’m really listening for—
is that one knock upon my door.

* * *

130220

!  B@@[\]  B!??^/

I been bizzy—
bizzy like a B
when all the
other alphabet
ups and goes to C.

* * *

130219

NO ‘CUZ FOR ALARM

Howdy, friend.
You look glum—
sumthin’ botherin’ you?

Yeah! Nuthin’ matters.

Oh, uh-hum. You might
wanna think that thru.

* * *

130218

SLEEP WALTZING

It only gets better,
this life-death trance.
I am eternal.
This is my dance.

* * *

130213

HAPPY TRUTH

This truth
by wise ones is averred:
you can’t unsay
a done-said word
and you can’t roller skate
in a buffalo herd,
but you can be happy …
if you’ve a “don’t-mind” to.

* * *

130212

ENSURE THIS

Never give up,
even if you never make it.

Never pass the cup
without a chance to taste it.

* * *

130211

THE UNDEAD

Dawn arises,
not from ashes,
but from its own
pooled blood.

* * *

130210

PLEASANCE

Like a happy
hippopotamus
am I—
scant of thought
and slow of pace,
but wallowing
in grace.

* * *

130203

A FRESH VISUAL

Our finches are prolific;
we must take measures.

This morning, Ethan checks
the nest and confirms—
“Time to pluck some eggs.”

* * *

130202

HARD TIMES

16-bean soup,
give or take a bean

* * *

130201

LAMENT

Alas, I’ve failed
at loving you—
but not for want
of wanting to.

* * *

130128

ENOUGH IS PLENTY

It could be fame,
or wealth, or breath, or death—
it doesn’t help to plead;
life doesn’t give me
what I want,
it gives me what I need.

* * *

130125

FINALLY FEARLESS

If God is truly
Love and Good,
He’d never abandon me—

and if He’s not
or if He should,
why would I care to be?

* * *

130123

NOTICE

I declare myself free—
not as a battle cry,
slogan, motto, avowal,
assertion, or affirmation—
as an observation.

* * *

130121

MISFITTED

I weep. I rail. I curse.
What’s wrong?
What’s wrong?
What’s wrong?
Where do I belong?

* * *

 

Decisions, Decisions … and Revisions

Today I abandoned two out-of-date poem blogs due to password nonacceptance. I thought a good alternative would be to simply start a new blog. But some research convinces me that I can jumble all kinds of content here, letting readers sort their favorites by selecting categories. If so, that is a wonderful solution. In keeping with my learning-by-doing orientation, I will proceed along those lines.

Since you will experience the outcome, wish us luck.

♥ Jo

* * *

Learning by Doing

“The work will teach you how to do it.”

This Estonian proverb is my motto. In the case of this blog, I’m learning how to produce one by doing it. … I got my first viagara comment today. Since comments are integral to having a blog, that was a good piece of learning.

I’m off to a slow start today but, actually, that is pretty typical. By the time I do what I call my “dailies”—planning, journaling, and everyday chores—the morning is often half gone. The dailies usually include a poem and the time to complete one is always unpredictable … some have taken the whole day.

My daily planning includes a lengthy gratitude list and a fresh affrimation accompanied by a photo. This creative time is my delight and dearest luxury. Of course, if a time comes when this indulgence must be dropped, it will be surrendered. I’m convinced that necessity of letting go (or going beyond) is true of all egoic traits and activities. This was my thinking as I wrote today’s poem.

* * *

FINAL FRONTIER

If I want to be
completely free,
that even means
free from me.

* * *  

Someday, I expect, my blog posts will be read. You may even be the first reader! First or last, I’m thinking of you today and hoping we will connect with good things to share.  ♥ Jo

 

About Poems – A Decision

I decided, for the present, not to post daily poems here … unless as commentary on my life or writing process.

As I nudge myself further toward blog writing (and other projects), I’ve found some apropos advice. These tips are from Wayne Wirs:

If you are having a hard time starting a task, then you are focused on you and not on the task before you.

If you are resisting, try to notice your conditioning: “I want. I want. I want.”
Once you see it, it is a lot easier to drop it.

If you still find yourself thinking about a completed task, then you are attached to
the outcome.  Surrender that too.

Excellent insight, don’t you think?.

* * *

 

Poems or About-Poems?

I used to have a separate blog (which I may revive) where I entered my daily poems. They are not works of high art, so I call them “pomes” and I call myself an everyday poet. To give you a flavor of the range, though, here are samples from yesterday and today:

SCRIBE

As I write
these poems
each day,
I wish I knew
what I were
trying to say.

* * *

MIDSUMMER METAPHOR

On this side darkly are we caught,
but for the winking coded messages
we emit.

Here, through flimsy body-masks
and near-unbearable yearning,
we incessantly scan for matched pulsations—
for the homing signals of our
love-mates, life-mates, playmates.

Flying or not,
we all have wings.

* * *

In this blog or journal, I will probably write more about the writing process than post the actual writing. I hope you are enjoying your own and making progress with it. Today I met a young man, Adam Bolander, who already has a half dozen books up on Amazon at the age of 21. Inspiring that he is so creative so young and so eager to share his work.

Test to Resize Photo

Poem 130623 Onboard Guidance

I think I’ve solved the size problem. But now the picture is fuzzy, whereas the original is not. Why isn’t this photo as clear as the image you get if you click on it and it opens in another window???

Still struggling. There is SO much to learn, in spite of WordPress and YouTube tutorials that claim setting up a website is easy. For example, the information on backing up data is prodigious.

Blog Post Sequence

This is my third post today as I experiment with how WordPress works. The first two posts appeared on the page in reverse reverse order. In other words, the second post was not in the expected reverse chronological order, which would have been higher on the page. Instead, it appeared lower on the page than the first one.

Maybe the solution is to only post once per day. But, out of curiosity, I want to discover whether this third post will appear at the top, middle or bottom of the day’s postings.

I am relying on other people’s advice to learn and sort out these oddities, and I hope my experiences will someday be useful to others as they learn.

Result of this test: The posts I made today in the sequence 1-2-3 appear on the page in the order (from top to bottom) 3-1-2. Dunno why.

Webpage Photo Quality

Poem

Illustrated Poem of 6/23/13 

 

Test Two – Inserting Webpage Photos Without Losing Quality

Things are easy AFTER you learn how … in this case via some kind soul on a YouTube video.

Next I want to learn to have more control over how things get displayed on the website pages, e.g., more font size variation, different placement of text such as in extra columns, etc. Things have sure changed sine the ’70s when I wrote my own HTML. I guess the harder a problem is, the greater the thrill of solving it. As far as WordPress goes, I’m still probably in the foothills. No telling how big the mountains will be.

 

Guidance for the Launch

Poem 130623 Onboard Guidance

Illustrated Poem 130623

I feel drawn, lately, to launching this website and have asked my heart for guidance. There is so much to learn about these processes–both the design software and the heart intuition.

This poem was written this afternoon. The color scheme turned out more dreary than I’d prefer. I wanted to achieve a “luminous night” color scheme that coordinated with the dusky rose heart-moth, and also to rely on copyright-free source materials. I may have another go at it later. I also need to figure out how to import pictures that retain their original size and clarity. I think you can click on this one to enlarge it.

The moth photo is courtesy of Puravida: http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/105471